What to Do in the Meantime — ordinarilyextraordinarymom

Find the light. I usually wait until the end of my thought processes for the big reveal, but today I felt the urge to start with the big finisher: Find the light. *** “Ms. Tia likes Minnie Mouse!” my youngest girl exclaimed as her first words to me one morning. She was so excited to […]

via What to Do in the Meantime — ordinarilyextraordinarymom

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Oh, my soul, cries out in longing and despair

Oh, my soul, cries out in great joy

Oh, my soul, cries out in love and peace

Oh, my soul, must come to a decision

To be what I was created for or to be what I desire

Oh, my soul, much is yet to be done

Oh, my soul, pare the negative and walk in positivity

Oh, my soul, fight unto the death

for you were created for this

RIP Lady B. Bush 🇺🇸

When it was reported that Lady Bush stopped medical support, I held out the hope that she still had time. I said, that the reporters were speaking as if she had already passed. Sadly, moments ago she passed. These moments are never easy but I’m happy that she is prayerfully at peace.

As the Bush family, this great nation, family, and friends grieves, may we all keep her memory alive within us. My prayers and condolences goes out for us all.

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_587fbde2e4b0cf0ae8819fd9

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To nurture is natural for some

Naturslly imparted from within

What’s within flows like a river

Basking upon the sunny shore

Making its own way

Flowing, dipping, and running

Not deterred by what may enter

As far as the waves may go

The deeper it will go

For from within flows naturally

A nurturer

M

Motherhood is something very special, delicate, and love never-ending. The love that I have for my children, two son’s, are immeasurable. It began in the womb. The place where our relationship was sealed. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, and month our relationship grew stronger. They depended upon me and I depended on them. I wanted and needed them to continue on. To fight for life and treasure it. I prayed for them to survive.  I prayed for the present and future. To this very day I pray for them.

My life as a mother has changed me and showed me, me. My life is not my own. As I think about it, it never has been my own. I have played the role as being strong and secure. I morphed myself into a person that I did not know. I rewrote myself, like a master play writer. Yet, in the back of my mind the real me was always replaying itself like watching my favorite movie continuously. The insecurities, shortcomings, and strengths replaying constantly. Bring many emotions and feelings along with them. All to be addressed at different intervals.

My life as a mother is very special to me. I love my children deeply and treasure each moment with them. My desire for them is for them do and be the best, live their lives as mighty men of God. For them to put God first in all that they do. For it is only God that will lead them along the right path without fail. My life is not my own and I will give my life for them. Now I have more of an understanding of how God is toward us. His desire is to see us do well and join him paradise.

As far back as I can remember I have always craved and searched for love, acceptance. I can count on one hand how many true relationships I have ever had in my life thus far. I always felt like an impostor, the lonely person inside of a crowded room. I have much to offer but no one to accept them. But as a mother I can give all of my love and attention to my children. They accept my good and bad. They love me to no end and I the same. Some days are good and other’s not so good. We learn and grow with each other. We are on this life journey together. We are a package deal and we will succeed as long as we keep God as our focus.

I stumble and fall sometime, but my strength is in getting back up again. My strength to continue is in Him. My focus is Him and living my life unto Him. For my children I live,  for my generation I live, and for me I live. Motherhood is all about love, nurture, guidance, and safety. Those are just to name a few because the list is never-ending.

 

L

I thought he loved me but I was wrong. If he loved me then he would not have denied me. He would not have turned his back on me and allowed others to look down on me. I thought that he was the one, due to the way he walked up and down my spine. The way he touched me and danced upon my thighs. I thought he loved me and that I meant the world to him. 

Regardless, of how he treated me and spoke to me, I was always there. At a moments notice, I was there. Waiting for just a word. Waiting on pins and needles for just a touch. Oh, how my soul panted for him, like a person dying of thirst. I thirsted and hungered for him. My heart skip a beat just at the thought of him.

Sadly, he did not love me as I thought that I loved him. The thirst and hunger for a love that cannot be understood. My very being was seeking for something that I did not understand or comprehend. A love that is all consuming and immeasurable.  A love that goes beyond goose bumps and warm feelings. A love that is loyal and cannot be dissipated.

A Love that = Loyalty and never ending. 

 

#AtoZChallenge 2018 L

K

Ugh, look at his smile. So bright and white. It is as if the sun is shining from within. He laughs and the earth shifts. The look he gives is so telling that it literally takes your breath away. Just to hear a word from his lips dripping with honey. The smoothest and deepest voice is a gift from the heavens above. But it is the kindness that fills him is beyond any imagination.

His very being is filled with something greater than what can be displayed outwardly. It is something that can’t really be understood and expressed in words. The kindness flows so freely and unhindered. It can’t be contained. Oh, how many would like to bottle it up in a jar, just to feel the warmth at a moments notice.

Somethings in life cannot be explained. They just are to be felt and stored within the memory banks of the mind. Only to be brought to the forefront for a glimpse and feel all warmth from inside. Many will not understand or know what it means to feel this type of selfless expression. For it is something that can’t be contained or shared. It is something that is for your memory only.