From the start you loved me. I was the apple of your eye. A breath of fresh air to your lungs. A spring to your step and a cool breeze on a hot sunny day. You loved me and I was cautious. Moving slowly and analyzing your every move.
Asking myself why. Thinking deeply about every word spoken, every touch, and every glance. Wondering what is your end game. The end game, with the final conclusion that you mean me harm. You don’t love me and are not concerned. You just want the booty, like all the. others.
Yet, after we crossed the bridge of intimacy you were still there. Watching and waiting. Taking me in. Why I ask myself. What do you want? You hold me, to tell me how you love and care for me. I shake my head because you have started to consume me. Over taking my every thought. I find myself wondering about you at the most awkward moments. Thinking of things that I can’t begin to comprehend. What are you doing to me?
Who am I? Who have a become. I wonder within myself what has changed. Why have thoughts of you taken over? Each touch brings about a change within me. Its to the point of no return. I no longer know where I end and you begin. Confusion begins to grow but your touch removes each thought. Mmmm…
From the begin there was something different about you. Your concern was for me and not yourself. Where I was weak you filled me with your strength. You saw beyond my mask into the very soul of me. You did not entertain my self doubt, pity, shame, and pain. You breathed into me a refreshing breath. A refreshing wind from the north to renew me. My lack of understanding was an avenue to begin trusting. Building a bridge, cemented and engrafted with you. You have been down for me since day 1, never giving up on the hurt little girl at the very heart of me.
Thank you, you changed the heart of me by being down for me from day 1!
Dream of dreams of ocean waves crashing
Crashing against the jaged, piercing mountain edge
Slicing through the violence without remorse
Causing pain, unmeasurable without end
Pain so deep and unblinking
Constantly circuming to the call of the deep
Never to resurface Again
Looking into the depth of the abyss
Close your eyes…my mistress
Mistress of the night
Close your eyes….reminisce
Of all the sleepless nights
Nights filled with emptiness
Close your eyes…to dream
Dream of dreams never ending
An ending without true discovery
Discovery of the innermost of you
Close your eyes…my mistress
Turn those dreams into reality
A trueness of self discovery
To never look back but forward
To the vision of purpose
Close the revolving doors of what should, could or would of
Cease to fret and begin to live
Live in the freshness of the dawn
The dawn of each day and moment
Moments of time that each breath is a renewal
Close your eyes…my mistress
Transform, restart, and recharge
Take a moment to wonder
Wonder about things
Things of endless possibility
The possibility of a thing
How does it work
How was it created
How does it come to an end
Take a moment to discover what
Means the most to you
I lift up my voice to sing your praises. I humble myself to bow down before in worship. Continuously I ask for you to search my heart to ensure that my worship, praise, and prayers are acceptable, a sweet savoir unto you.
I come before your thrown in fear and trembling. Their is no one like you upon the heavens or the earth. You are the true and living God. Every word that comes forth from my lips are praises unto you, my Lord and Savior. You reign in my life and I look to you for direction. I have placed my life in your hands, trusting you with all that I am. Self has been taken off and replaced with your characteristics.
I seek only that you be glorified in my life and all that I do. I seek you with all that I am. I eagerly wait for your direction at each moment to ensure that I am working along the path that you have laid out before me. I seek your face continuously and humble myself with each breathe. I give you all of my worship, and I lift up holy hands as an offering to my King.
I place my faith and trust in you, my everything.
The smile on her face never dulls
The beat of her heart beats like an African drum
Her eyes shines as bright as the sun
The warmth from her lips uplifts, all who crosses her path
The strength in her hands is never ending
The natural nuturer flowing from within like a mighty rushing wind
Yet, the happiness and joy she expresses is all a facade
A facade that she tries to hide, Oh, so well by the smile that never fades
Many lost never to be seen or heard from again.
Lives forever changed and heartbroken
Weighed down by the actions of other’s
Not due to any fault of their own but by the decisions formed by an idea
A nation brought together, unified by the flames that will never be forgotten
On this day 15 years ago, a great nation eyes were opened
Open to what was taking place in the dark crevices of the hearts and mind of many
BUT…this great nation rose from the ashes to face fear head on
The lives of those lost will never be forgotten
From his very being is a darkness that can’t be penetrated
Looking deep in his eyes into the abyss
His very soul is frozen from the dampness that flows from within
Its smothered with evilness
Never ending darkness that causes a me to shiver with each glance
As he pushes me hard, causing me to hit my head against the wall of beautiful home
A home that we took care in choosing, we said we would raise our children and grow old
A home that should have been full of love has now become my shameful place
As he back hand me with all of his might all I can think of is how did I get here
He’s suppose to love and cherish me
Yet, now all he does is look at me with disgust and puts his hands on me every chance he gets
Oh, how I use to love the way his hands felt against my skin
Now all I want to do is cut them off
The sun is high in the sky but I can’t see it clearly. The birds are kissing the sky with good morning kisses. Yet, I still cannot see them. A cool, calm breeze is flowing amongst the tree tops. Can you see?
Another day has met me but I still cannot see it. The feelings I’ve come to embrace has taken oven. They are so dear but they have caste a never ending shadow. Moist, damp, and downright chilly. The smell reeks from my pores with the scent of desperation. Desperate to see clearly again.
To see the sun kiss the sky at the dawn of each day. To see the birds kiss the morning sky. Oh, how much would I love to feel the cool breeze on my face and wish all a good day.
Heart racing, Blood pumping
Sounds like an ocean full of rage
Sweltering heat, Sweat pouring
Chest heaving heavily with every breath
Mind racing, with feet pacing
Oh, what joy it could be if only
If only the pain, the squeeaing
Only if the scourging pain of the vice surrounding my heart could only